Change

Change. A lot has changed. I feel better, more happier. I just got into a new motorcycle gang. But don't worry, it good. It's for abused and neglected children. they protect them. GOC. Guardians of Children. I had a ceremony Sunday to be adopted into their group. They gave me a pillow case that had all their names signed on it, it is suppose to keep my bad dreams away. They gave me a certificate, to say that I am apart of their gang, or family. They gave me a vest with my biker name on it, which is Sunshine. They gave me a teddybear that is pink and everyone hugged it and they said that if I ever needed a hug that i just need to hug that bear and that is everyone hugging me. And they gave me a t shirt with their symbol on it. And after they made their speeches, i got to pick a motorcycle to ride on, and ride on the back of it around town. It was so much fun. I have a group picture of all of us on facebook. Come look and add me. my email is lynn.jennyfer@yahoo.com.

Hey~

I haven't been on in a while. Been pretty crazy around here. With school, and drama at home, and just a lot of probelms. Had a lot of homework and I got d-hall the third week of school for hitting a guy that hit a girl. Pshh. I shouldn't have gotten in trouble. That was so stupid. I was just mad because the girl was my bestfriend and the guy had been bugging her for two whole days and she was getting really mad. So I got really mad. I just feel for everyone else. I hate when people go through things and are hurt or sad or upset. I have been like that most of my life and I would not wish that on my worst enemy. Well, other then that a problems at home, everything has been pretty mellow. Thank goodness. I am so tired of the rape drama already. It's been four years and I just want it done and over with. It's not fair that I am still going through after four years. I would like him to just go to jail and stay there. I don't want him around me ever. Or whem I grow up I don't want him knowing my kids and hurting them the same way he hurt me, and made me damaged goods. I am almost scared of being touched. I've pretty much gotten over it on the outside. Everyone can see me "happy" but when I got home to my room, I am crying and screaming into my pillow.

Walking through the halls

With tears falling down my face

Trying not to fall

And keep up with the pace

Never felt more alone in my life

I would love to have a knife

Trying to hide

Just like my scars

Let me run far!!

 

 

 

-Jenny

It Won't Sell.

I cannot tell

Only I am to know

It won't sell

Because you will not know

I'm sorry if you don't think it's right

It's something I have to do

I guess we will fight

I have to.

 

 

 

-Jenny

DAD/ Russ.
Well, let's see. He is a smartass. But he is so smart. And I love to argue with him or just talk to him. He has a prettty high IQ so it's fun to pick his mind. I can talk about anything and he will give his honest opinion of the thing I am talking about. And if I need help on my homework he can hep with anything, and he likes to play video games and I do to. He introduce minecraft to me. It is awesome. He is a awesome dude and I am sure you are going to be hearing of him a lot.

MOM/ Tab.
Well, let's start off by saying she has really made my life better. I feel happier and excited more. I have more to distract me so I don't get sad or depressed. It's so much better. I love her. She brought two adorable little girls into this world that I am so thankful for. They make my life better just as much. She is funny, and so happy. I would do anything for her. She is beautiful. I am so lucky to have her. She would do anything for me. Thursday I get to have a cry night at her house. I need that right now. I'm not sure what else to say but you will be hearing about her a lot.

Loreilai

Miss Lore. Hm. So much to say about her. Well, for starters she is just as cute as Miriam but the mouth really sets me off. She has a big attitude. I've never seen someone so feisty. When she doesn't get her way she can cry on spot. But I used to be able to do it. I can still make myself cry on spot. But anyways, she loves video games, and the computer. She loves me staying the night with her. She loves watching movies, but she also loves getting things in the mail and sending things. It's beyond me. But I like to check the mail because I have to walk to the post office and I live in a tiny town so it's fun to just walk. So I'll take her with me. She has long hair. Way longer than mine. She eats just enough to keep a bird alive. I have no clue how though. I am always hungry. I'm not sure what else to tell you but I am sure she will come up in most of my writings so you can hear more then!

Miriam Jean

Let's start with the youngest of my newest family. Miss. Miriam Jean. She is the prettiest baby in the world. I would do anything for her. If I had to jump in front of a moving train I would. I would do anything to protect her. She is my baby. When I first saw her I knew she was gonna be one of those happy babies. Well, I started seeing her everyday and just fell in love. If I am upset or sad or anything, I can just go hold her and she makes everything better. I just hope I am lucky enough to get a child like her. So happy, and so so beautiful.

8-31-12

Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself. <3

School was good... sorta. I love school. I love to learn. But I wish i could just be in a classroom all by myself. The people are crazy, and all they want to do is cause drama. I'm really getting tired of the drama and the stupid remarks. Some of it may be funny to them, but not to the people who are mature and are trying to get through school without it.  But other then that it was great!!! I walked Lorelai to school again. It was cute. I've always wanted a little sister and now I've gained two. It's the best feeling in the world, to have family who you can take care of and help through things. 
I wish I had someone like that when I was growing up. My sister was taking away from me, and my mom was always working and my dad left me. So there I was all alone. Maybe that's why I am still alone most of the time because that's who I've grown up to be. I am just used to not having to lean on anyone. But leaning on someone gives me such relief, just knowing that I am not the only one carrying it on my shoulders, part of the weight has been lifted off. Trust me, I have enough burdens to take care of for a lifetime. But more will still keep coming. God wouldn't give them to me if he knew I couldn't handle them. I was meant to be strong. And that's exactly how I will be. 


  No temp­ta­tion has over­taken you except such as is com­mon to man; but God is faith­ful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temp­ta­tion will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.               

New Here

So I am new here, so I'll introduce myself. My name is Jennifer but everyone calls me Jenny. I prefer that actually.  I am a high school sophomore. I have a pretty crazy life. My past has been pretty hard but I don't need any pity from anyone. That is not what I came on here for, I came on here to express myself, and to tell you my story. I love to write, talk, and read. I like to be on facebook, and wittyprofiles. I have a good family, and I love them. I just about have two families. I have the mom I live with and the mom and dad I come to everyday after school, and hang out with them and the kids. It's like I have to little sisters. One of them is 5, and her name is Lorelai. She goes to my school. I walk her to school, and take her to the elementary hall so she can put her things in her locker and take her to breakfast. It is so cute. Miriam is the littlest out of us. She is 13 months and she is the cutest. I just love her to death. I love to put her to bed, and rock her. I even love to change her diapers. I love dressing her up. She is a crazy baby.