Well gosh, I haven't been on here in so long. I used to love writing, and now it just take up to much of my time that I should be spending on finishing homework for my college classes.
So much has happened in the past year!
I finally went to trial for the man who raped me, and tore apart my life. We went to trial for a whole week, and I had to testify and tell them the story, and every small detail. It was so hard, and hurt so much. But then again it felt so good to get it out.
At the end of the week, the jury found him guilty. I was so relieved. It felt good to get some justice. And the rapist had a choice of who would decide his sentencing. He picked the judge, which was a big mistake on his part. The judge has a little girl who is 11, (which was the age I was when I was raped, I'm now 16.) The judge came up and hugged me when he took off his robe. He told me it took a lot of courage to do what I did, and that he was proud of me. That told me that he was on my side, and that I had nothing to worry about.
About a month later was the sentencing- We sat in court for about an hour while the judge went the other prisoners reports, and when that was all done, we went to my case. Remember this detail, all the other prisoners got to sit in there while we did my case.
My mother, brother-in-law, and I had to testify on how the effected my life. I went first, and I said what was on my mind. I said that I was a happy person before all of this, and I loved to be outside, and loved being around the family, and just hanging out being apart of this life. Now, I am depressed, angry, hate being anywhere but in my room by myself, and I don't want any part of this life I live.
My mom got on the stand and said a lot of what I said but more. She told them that she loved to be around me, and now all she feels is misery and heartache, and that she can't live a normal life with me because whenever she is gone I have an anxiety attack. And how I've tried to kill myself a lot, and that I am a cutter.
My brother-in-law told them that I was the happiest, brightest little kid on the planet. And how I was always spending time with him, and that I was the best little kid someone could ask for, and after all of this happen he could notice a gradual change in me into an angry kid who hated the world.
After all of this testifying, and seeing me break down in front of the whole court room, the prisoners were not happy with this piece of shit of a man.
Well, the judge took all of this into factor, and told the rapist that he was going to spend life in prison. We were going for two life sentences, but one was just fine. Court was dismissed, and everyone went outside, including the GOC, and we talked, and decided that we would go to Just Chillin (a frozen yogurt place) and celebrate.
While everybody was eating, my brother-in-law got a call from the officer that was transporting the prisoners back to the county jail. He told my brother-in-law that once the guy that raped me stepped on the bus, all the other prisoners jumped him and beat his ass trying to kill him. It is very sick and twisted that I am happy about that, but after what he put me through, what I'm going through, and what I will go through, I think he deserves everything he gets.
After celebrating, my sister and I went and hung out and celebrated a little on our own ;) And we finally went home to finish my packing because my mom sent me to my uncles to live up in the panhandle. Saturday morning I was on my way to meet my uncle to go to his house. And I am living here right now.
It's hard being here, away from mom and everyone else. And it is also a big culture change. The school system up here is very different, but also much better. I know that it will be good for me to be up here. I will get a better education and better things to occupy my time. I am taking 3 college classes, and I have also joined the fire department. With all that being said, I am very busy. I feel like I have so much to do that I don't have time to myself. I am always doing homework, or working on something. my family down here excepts me to spend a certain amount of time with them. It's good for me to be busy because then I don't think about the rape, but I also have to wear a jacket to school everyday because no one here knows of my past so they don't know I cut, and that I have scars all over my arm. Back home, everybody knew so I didn't have to hide who I am. Here I feel like all I do is hide who I am. I feel like I'm lying to everyone up here, that somehow my life is perfect, and I am just some happy kid who wanted to come live with her uncle because of the better school system when that is not the case. I came here because my mom no longer wanted me around, and could no longer live with who and what I have become.
Thank you for reading!
Sincerely,
Jennifer.
